Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
