my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
