He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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