I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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