The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
