We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize