My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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