why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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