OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
