he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
