seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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