facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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