what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she told me i tasted like america
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize