If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
