Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
