i don't like sucking hair
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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