dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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