Umm I'm too high to move.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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