Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
