I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
