Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
