i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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