he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you would pick up someone in the library
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
