he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
