I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
