In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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