Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
