Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
