foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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