I must be too annoying 4 u.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
