the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
