everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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