you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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