after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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