Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
