I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize