Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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