Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
