I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
