shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
