brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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