its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Randomize
