Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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