No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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