And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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