did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
