this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
