i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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