I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
