garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
