Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
