then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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