i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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