life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Bang-toberfest begins!!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
