No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
