i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
it was like eating out sand paper
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
