She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
