one might say we're banned from that church
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
