Sponge bath it is.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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