no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
