i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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