kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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