Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
