I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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