I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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