I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im holly from the hills drunk
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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